On My Own {Nolan}

[Matty Hanson]

love your crooked neighbor, with all your crooked heart

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Growing up down south, I was not used to this bitter, bitter cold. Snow covered the normally green campus and the wind blew like a freezing hurricane. It stung my nose and cheeks as I hurriedly walked to the library to catch up on reading, and get some alone time. I saw the brick building across the quad and carefully dodged patches of ice on the path. Once inside the warm, roomy building, I sighed a deep breath of relief when I saw that no one else was in there besides the aging librarian. Peace and quiet where I could be utterly alone.

I made my way through the aisles and aisles of books. I felt at home here. Running a finger along the spines of the huge encyclopedias and old text books, I came to my destination, classics. I had finished every book in my book shelf and needed something new to fill my time. While it had seemed like a no brainer than I had already read Pride and Prejudice, it was the only Jane Austen book that I hadn't read. I held the book in my hands and turned it over to read the back cover. Obviously, I'd heard about it, I'd just never had the time to read it. I even broke my rules and saw the movie without reading it.

I bit my lip and began walking to one of the cozy reading spots in the library. I sat on a tan leather couch by a fire and opened to the first page and read It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Interesting first words, but I read on. I gradually got lost and engulfed in the words typed in Goudy Old Style on the pages and forgot about the fact that I was living in daily torture and Canterwood without a single friend. Normally I would've loved that, but being so far from home and friendless was getting to be a little much.

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CREDIT TO OH HAI JENNERS ?! OF CAUTION 2.0

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[Nolan Bray]

Nolan Bray


He knew that he couldn't quite be the only person grumbling about the photography paper. Nolan Bray was beginning to suspect that some of the art teachers believed that students only took their class for an easy a. While he knew that he certainly was not one of those students, considering the sheer amount of football players in his class left for something to be argued. In a way though, even though this only amounted to more work on his end, Nolan didn't really mind. He needed the distraction from his life currently, because it seemed that after being invisible for so long and going unnoticed, all of the sudden, he became, well noticed. He wasn't entirely sure as to why this sudden strange occurrences started to happen, or what he had been doing differently all of the sudden. Well, at least at the slice, the stables had been a differently entirely matter.

A sigh escaped Nolan, "Don't think about it, it's pointless to think about it." He muttered now, not to mention, it's not like he was any farther out of his comfort zone. Nolan was still nervous when it came to socializing. Besides, nothing changed and he was still going to go about his daily routines. Even more importantly though, he had some books that he needed to go check out from the reference section of the library, or just art books in general on photography. And just like that, he felt his thoughts wander back to class work. The history of photography sounded nice, but it was also something that everybody would go for.

It was probably going to end up being one of those things though that would make more sense once he got there, like a calling or finding the right fit. Something along the lines of that at least. After all, it worked for just about everything else so why not. Saying his 'good bye man' to his roommate, Nolan quickly grabbed his book bag and stake board from the room and headed out. The outside world greeted him with some bitterness, but it didn't entirely shock him. Boston was just like this, unlike some other kids, Nolan wasn't too far from home. Despite the conditions that the weather had left, Nolan and his skateboard made it the library in once piece as he rolled right in.

Earning his usual eye roll from the librarian now, Nolan just offered a meek smile before stepping off his skateboard and slamming his foot down on the one side, popping it up and he grabbed it. Some dare, Nolan always thought that he would be a little more daring to see how far he could ride his skateboard into the library, but fears of getting notice kept him from doing such things. The library seemed quite peaceful now, the fire was going, and there were very little students there. Actually, the library was probably never crowded unless exams were upon them. Heading over to the art books now, he glanced them over quickly before grabbing one.

What happened next, he wasn't entirely sure. He had been grabbing a book, and just like that, there was an avalanche of books. They all came down in a heap, and Nolan quickly jumped back to avoid any contact. Brown eyes just stared at them, okay, so maybe a six book fall was a little extreme to be called an avalanche, but it was still a lot, "Awkward..." he muttered under his breath, feeling like he might die on the spot now as he crouched down to start to pick them up. His gaze flickering to a girl for two seconds, hoping he didn't disturb her, or any other here, but she had been the closest.

Occ: I thought you wrote plenty, it is perfectly fine!

[Matty Hanson]

love your crooked neighbor, with all your crooked heart

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Not going to lie, I was in my own little world, or rather the world of the book I was reading. My knees were pulled close as I read about Elizabeth Bennet and the too good to be true Mr. Darcy. The whole story sort of disgusted me, yes I knew it was a classic and blah blah blah early literature reveals blah blah, but the unrequited love and back and forth of emotions sickened me. Actually love and relationships in general sickened me.

I was never one for relationships, my only one, if you'd even call it a 'relationship,' was with Mike Jackson in the 8th grade and had ended the day after it began after the big drama went down that he was, god forbid, texting Alicia McCormick. I didn't mind, I never even liked the kid, my friends had pressured me into it and I only accepted because I knew he had a pool. Apparently 8th grade me was not a strong believer in love, and neither was 11th grade me, that was certain. I yawned, it was only 7:19, but this whole bopping around place to place to entertain myself was rather tiring. And boring. And kind of sad and pathetic too.

A series of big thuds awakened me out of my nostalgic daydreams as I jumped three feet in the air. I glanced around the library to see where the noise had come from and saw a boy with brown hair kneeling down over a small pile of books that had most likely created the sound. He glanced up quickly at me and I saw his face, it was very nice to look at, I must say. Acting solely on loneliness and boredom, I sprang up off the couch and rushed over at the sight of possible friends that spent time in the library like me instead of gossiping in The Sweet Shoppe.

"Need some help?" I offered, flashing a weak smile as I knelt down to help him. I picked up one of the books, it was about photography and handed it to him, giving him another smile. Normally, I never would've approached someone like this, especially someone who happened to be really, really cute, but it was like some higher power had heard my need of friends. I was getting ahead of myself, I didn't even know this boy, or even his name, but I could easily change that. All the power was in my hands for once, "I'm Matty, by the way." I smiled at him again, great he probably thought I was a Cheshire Catted freak.

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CREDIT TO OH HAI JENNERS ?! OF CAUTION 2.0

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[Nolan Bray]

Nolan Bray



The library was still as silent as it had been before he had the book avalanche and hopefully, it would stay that way. Brown eyes glanced over the large pile of books, which seemed even bigger than after his first inital shock. Hastily, he started to grab booked and slid them towards him, glancing over some of their contact quickly to see if they were anything that he could use for his paper. Might as well save himself the trouble of having to look at more books, because Nolan was feeling the pressure now to just run out of the library as fast as he could and never look back. Hole up in his room or just go back to the stables and hang out with Bandit, give her a good grooming or something.

His eyes gave a fleeting glance towards the corner in which the girl had been, and was startled to see that she was no longer there. Had he disturbed her and she left for good? God, he hoped not or he would have felt awful about that. Nolan wasn't about being a distraction, in fact, the young boy really wasn't about standing out in general. Which, he supposed people would find rather ironic since he had one of the loudest looking horses on the Canterwood. A sigh escaped Nolan as he went back to what he was doing, "Animal photography..." he muttered out loud, picking up a book and glancing it over.

"Need some help?" a voice came, startling Nolan so badly that he had nearly dropped the book. Thankfully, he managed to spare himself the embaressment. Brown eyes glanced over quickly to see a girl. Well, not a girl, but the girl who had been reading probably five seconds ago, and now she was offering her help after he was the one who disturbed her in the first place. His eyes widen, "Errr..." but that was all what seemed to come out at the very moment, uncertain of what to really say and honestly, he felt a little foolish. Thankfully, she carried the conversation a little more by introducing herself and finally, Nolan seemed to find his voice.

"Nolan..." he said uncertainly, feeling like this was another Chloe Green situation where he wasn't exactly sure as to why a good looking girl was offering her help. Or well, even more importantly, acknowledging his existence, "Uh, you can help me if you want," he managed now, glancing back down at the book in his hand for a moment before glancing up at the shelf, "Sorry for bothering your reading. I didn't know this avalanche was going to happen."

[Matty Hanson]

love your crooked neighbor, with all your crooked heart

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He seemed a little hesitant to talk to her at first, which was probably warranted as she was being crazy, but he finally told her his name. Nolan. He spoke again, "Uh, you can help me if you want. Sorry for bothering your reading. I didn't know this avalanche was going to happen." She picked up another book for him and didn't make eye contact as she said, "Don't worry about it, I needed a little excitement for the night anyway." She dared herself to look at him again and quickly glanced back at him before looking back at the books and adding, "Besides, it's not everyday you find someone cool in a school like this."

Her comment had made even herself blush, normally emotionless Matty was blushing. She guessed boys just had that effect on normal teenage girls, but she was never a normal teenage girl. She spent most of her time hoping to be different from everyone else, but she never tried to do so like most people who wanted to be different did, she just was. Growing up how she had probably played a role in that. In and out of houses, jobs, "father figures," and abusers was not the way to raise a girl to be "normal."

She turned her head away from Nolan to hide the fact that she was, indeed, blushing like a fool, hiding it with a cough before going back to picking up books. She couldn't bring herself to say something else with the fear that she'd humiliate herself again, but she wanted to keep talking to the first boy to ever make her blush. Ahh the paradox of the life of an abnormal teenage girl.

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[Nolan Bray]

Nolan Bray



He honestly thought that she was just going to leave. After all, usually people weren't about helping out the odd ball of Canterwood. It's not like he was begging for the attention usually either, especially when it came to girls. Although, as of lately, he wasn't even sure if he could be counted as invisible any more with all of the conversations that he seemed to be scoring. The thought nearly made him wince, scoring, that sounded like a terrible word to use. They had just been happening, and that was what he should probably leave it at. During his whole thought process though, Nolan noticed how she didn't leave. In fact, Matty seemed to be doing the exact opposite and that was helping him.

Nolan could not help but to feel a little puzzled by this, but he didn't dare ask her about it. There was no need to completely alienate himself and while a loner, he prided himself in being friendly enough unlike some of the others in school who just shunned other people away like mangy animals. It wasn't that Nolan thought being an outsider was cool, or that he really had a real reason. In fact, as far as the young boy was concerned, he didn't really have an skeletons in the closet. More so, it was just the fact that he was awkward and shy, which in the end, hindered him greatly for the most part other than with a few guys around the school.

"I'd hardly call this exciting," he managed now as he grabbed another book, sliding it towards him and glancing over the cover for a moment before ultimately deciding that it wasn't for him. Slowly, he worked this way, mainly because he was still aware at the moment that there is a girl right next to him. Her next words though, caught him off guard and Nolan stopped midmotion in sliding a book back towards him. That awkward silence began to build again and he didn't entirely know what to say other than the fact that she was oddly mistaken about him. Brown eyes glanced towards her now, finally having the courage to look at her, but Matty seemed to have turn her face to the side now, looking away.

Well, this just grew even a little more awkward than usual. It seemed though, whether he liked it or not, that if any talking was going to ensure that he was going to have to be the one to break it and well, ice breakers had never really been his thing. Nonetheless, he offered a smile now, "I think you have me mistaken for someone else. I'm not cool at all." Bandit might argue that, but his little mare couldn't exactly talk. The book that Matty was handling now caught his eye, or at least, there was an animal on it, which could very well have been one of the books he was looking for, "Hey, is that animal photography that you're holding?" Nolan inquired now and well, he also was using it as a stirring ground to make this conversation a little less awkward for the both of them.

[Matty Hanson]

love your crooked neighbor, with all your crooked heart

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Her face finally returning to a normal shade of pale, she dared herself once more to look at him. It was only a quick, fleeting glance, but it still managed to turn her stomach inside out. She looked back down at the books on the floor again. She gave him another glance when she heard his voice say, "I think you have me mistaken for someone else. I'm not cool at all." She laughed a little and replied in a voice she wasn't entirely sure was her own, "Well then you've managed to fool me this whole time."

An awkward silence filled the library, accented by the sound of someone typing far away. She wanted to do anything, say something witty, say anything at all to end the gap in conversation, if you could call this a conversation. Matty thought she should probably just leave him alone now, she was probably bothering him, "I should--" she started, but he had started speaking and she quickly shut up to listen. "Hey, is that animal photography that you're holding?" he asked her now and she glanced down at the book in her hand. Sure enough, the book he'd inquired about was in her hands.

"Indeed it is," she responded and handed him the book, their fingers grazing ever so slightly. She felt her face grow warm again and hoped with all her power that she wasn't blushing again because there was no way she could hide it this time. She spoke now, hoping to distract him from the color filling her pale complexion, "What's the subject of your animal photography?" She hated herself, that was the stupidest question ever, but it'd just slipped out. She looked up at him now to judge his reaction to the stupidest question of the century. "Sorry, I don't know, I find photography interesting, I guess," the words came tumbling out of her and for a moment they didn't even sound like English the way they all ran together. Matty wished she could just leave now and spare herself the embarrassment of humiliating herself in front of Nolan, the only boy she'd found interesting, and cute, enough to actually approach.

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CREDIT TO OH HAI JENNERS ?! OF CAUTION 2.0

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